Good Riddance Day in Times Square

On Monday, the Times Square Alliance, the same group that organizes the giant New Years Eve party, held their third annual Good Riddance day from 12 to 1 pm where people could come and shred, smash, and dump "any distasteful, embarrassing and downright depressing memories from 2009." Dozens of people stopped by to shred anything from pink slips, to newspaper articles, to the names of ex-boyfriends.

While you're making out your resolutions this week in order to have a happier, healthier 2010, it might not come amiss to make a list of things you'd like to let go of. Symbolism is a powerful thing, so take all the disappointments from the past year and shred them, toss them, donate them and be done with it. Start fresh for 2010.

What happiness for me will look like in 2050

I find this picture hauntingly beautiful. I was taken by Matthew McDermott during a Vigil for Survival last week. Under each candle, people wrote what their hopes were for the world in the year 2050. I'd love to read what some people wrote, I think it would be interesting to see what people's hopes and dreams are for the future of humanity - one can only hope it has nothing to do with beer vending machines and nothing like the future looked like in "Back to the Future: Part II."

Personally...

I hope that we see a shift to a more conservative society. Just because we can have sex and swear doesn't mean that it should be on tv at 8 p.m. or at all for that matter.

I hope people learn the virtues of accountability and stop expecting a hand out or a bail out to appear around the next corner. 

At the same time, I hope we also learn that compassion and charity is good for the soul and that not everyone chooses to be in the situation they're in and not everyone is looking for a hand out or a bail out.

I hope the world learns that the United States can't always be called upon to solve conflict, and I hope the United States learns that they can't fix the problems of the world - especially ones that have existed for thousands of years. We need to focus on our own problems first.

I hope we gain a true understanding of what processed foods, hormone supplements in our food, and toxic chemicals in our personal care items have done to our bodies and our childrens bodies. Stop greenwashing me and tell me the truth.

Additionally, I hope recycling becomes mandatory and supported by every town and city.

I'm wondering what your hopes are for our future, faithful readers? What would your perfect world look like? What do you hope to see change? 

My friend Monica forwarded me this quote which I think is applicable here:

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

*Margaret Mead*

Three things I like about myself - Day 2 of "The Happy Book"

Day two of "The Happy Book" is actually to write about my favorite cliche, but I really don't have one. I'm not even sure I really understand what it means, so I'm skipping it and moving day three into day two.

So day two has now become about finding three things I like about myself and writing them down. This is actually really tough for me. I'm not really that great at talking about myself. Oh, don't get me wrong, I can talk, but I generally just tell stories about other people or talk about interesting facts that I've learned that are applicable to the conversation. I will rarely talk about myself directly. So this exercise is actually really difficult for me and therefore my three things might be slightly lame...so here it goes:

1. I'm fiercely loyal. I've always said that you can say bad things about me, but never, ever say bad things about the people that I care about. 
2. I'm strong, both mentally and physically - although I will admit I lack discipline in certain areas that involve ice cream and chocolate.
3. Why is the last one always so hard? Would it be cheating if I said that I think I'm a good daughter and sister? Does this overlap number 1 too much? Oh well..using it anyway. Family is very important to me, and so while there are times I get impatient...ok...maybe it's downright bitchy...I'm pretty sure that they all know that I'm around when it counts, supportive when I need to be, and that I love them all very much. 

So now it's your turn. What are three things you like about yourself. Write them down and when you're feeling down and having one of those funky days, refer back to them and hopefully they'll lift your spirits!

Day 2 of the Field Guide to Happiness for Women

Today's tip for finding happiness from Barbara Ann Kipfer's  book "A Field Guide to Happiness for Women" is to Walk More. She writes that "Walking helps you get to know yourself better. If you choose to think while you walk, you may come up with solutions to problems or discover insights into your being."

While I completely agree with the sentiment, I don't necessarily agree with the activity. I personally don't overly enjoy walking. I'll do it, but it's frankly not my choice of exercise. Growing up, I always did my thinking and my problem solving while I was swimming. I was mostly a distance swimmer until college and so practices sessions were filled with long distance swimming. What better time to think than when you can hear practically nothing of the outside world and the only other thing you really have to do to entertain yourself is to stare at a black line on the bottom of the pool? It was either think or sing songs to myself in my head...both of which were regular occurrences.

Once I graduated college and swore never to enter another pool again with the intent of swimming laps (that lasted about 3 months, although I've began to go longer and longer without swimming) I needed to find other ways to have personal, thinking time. These days I find it in different places....in spin class, in the shower in the mornings, in those moments right before I fall asleep. For me, these are all times where I can go over the days events, go through my to do list, compose emails in my head, or whatever else needs to be done. It's 100% about me and there's nothing from the outside world that can disturb me.

The point I think Kipfer is making is two fold - first of all, exercise in general will make you a happier, healthier person. I think we can all agree on that. Whether it's walking or not, that's totally up to you. And second, with our lives getting busier and fuller, everyone needs to find a time to decompress and work through issues in solitude. For my mom, she finds that Sunday Mass is her peaceful time to reflect, maybe yours is during your monthly massage, or as you sit quietly in the car waiting to pick your child up from soccer practice. Wherever and whatever it may be, pause and find some time to connect with yourself.

Chinese Fortune Cookies - December 13, 2009 Daily Dose of Happiness

My dad and I looooooove fortune cookies. When we go to Pei Wei, where the cookies are pretty much set up like a buffet and you can help yourself, we always grab a handful before our food is served and then another handful after we've eaten dinner. Tonight we had quite the number of fortune cookies and, like always, some of the fortunes were good, others were lame, but I kept all of them to copy them here. Hopefully there's one you can enjoy:

Your smile is a curve that can get a lot of things straight.

Past experience: He who never makes mistakes never did anything that's worthy.

Be yourself and you will always be in fashion.

Be both a speaker of words and a doer of deeds.

He who grabs the last lettuce wrap is the least hungry.

The simplest answer is to act.

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

Emotions can be sweet and sour, so can your meal.

Secret Santa Angel's - December 10, 2009 Daily Dose of Happiness

This wonderfully heart warming story popped up on my yahoo front page today about a group of Secret Santa's in cities nationwide that hand out their own money to unsuspecting, yet deserving people during the month of December. Let me repeat that...they hand out THEIR OWN MONEY. I was sitting in my shop this afternoon as I read this story, literally sobbing and praying for the first time in the short history of my business that no one came through my door.

Spend any sort of time with me and I'm bound to touch on my massive disappointment in the path of humans these days. It seems like we spend so much time worrying about ourselves, our problems, our issues, that we've lost all semblance of common courtesy. When did people stop saying thank you, holding a door open, or doing something so incredibly simple, like flipping a turn signal on? And when did all of this become ok?

These Secret Santa's are the complete antithesis of all of that. This year alone, they will give out a combined $250,000 to $300,000 to complete and total strangers. This goes completely beyond turning your blinker on. All these people ask for is that recipients pay their good fortune forward - not necessarily in the form of money, it can be something as simple as a hug.

Maybe this holiday season we can all attempt to stop focusing so much on our own problems in order to see the bigger picture. And maybe we'll be able to bring each other some happiness along the way.

10 things that make me happy, day one from "The Happy Book"

Authors of "The Happy Book: A Journal to Celebrate what Makes you Happy," Rachel Kepster and Meg Leder write in the beginning of the book that the theme of the book and the secret for happiness is:

Thinking about what makes you happy, makes you happy.

Writing about what makes you happy, makes you happy.

Reading about what makes you happy, makes you happy.

Asking others to think, read, and write about what makes them happy, makes them happy. The nice side effect? It also makes you happy.

Pretty simple logic if you ask me. There's a quote out there somewhere that says:

Watch your thoughts for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

It's an interesting thought. There's another quote - People are about as happy as they make their mind up to be. So I think the authors of "The Happy Book" might be on to something here.

Anyway, activity one from "The Happy Book" is to make a list of things that make me happy - anything and everything that makes me happy - small, big, profound, simple. So that's what I'm going to do. I'll do ten things only - I'm afraid if I do to many more it will start to read like those facebook notes that were floating around for awhile "31 things you don't know about me" or some crap like that. Feel free to think about, comment on, or write down what makes you happy. Then I suggest when something negative happens, focus on the happiness list and not on the negative list. These are in no particular order:

1. My animals. With two cats and a dog, my little 1200 sq ft house sometimes seems like a mini zoo and a disaster waiting to happen, but animals really do make life brighter and better.
2. Coffee. I really don't think I need to enlarge on this topic.
3. A new book. Horace Mann once said "A house without books is like a room without windows." I believe no matter what, no matter the genre, the method, the title, you can always get something from a book, even if it's just the pleasure of curling up under the covers with it.
4. My family. No matter what they are my home. And home is where your story begins.
5. Warm chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream.
6. A really good, nasty, sweaty cycling class.
7. Friends. I may not have a large quantity of friends, but I have some great quality friends and to me, that's the most important thing.
8. The internet. Seriously...what did people do before yahoo and google? These days, pretty much all my information comes from the internet. How to figure out my quickbooks file, finding new products, how to get rid of fleas, making an appointment to get my carpets cleaned. Literally everything.
9. My business. I honestly wake up every day and I'm excited to go to work.
10. Writing. I may not always know what to say. I may not always say interesting or important things. But I enjoy doing it. It helps me focus and helps me process.

So there you have it. 10 things that make me happy. Hope you are able to find some things in your life that make you happy as well!

Day 1 of the Field Guide of Happiness for Women

I sat down last night to read what today's first tip is in the "Field Guide to Happiness for Women" and truth be told, I was kinda bummed. Yeah...bummed on my way to finding happiness...not a great endorsement for this book in regards to helping me find happiness. So what was tip #1 you ask? "Eat Quality Food." Seriously? This is tip one? I mean why not ease into that one? It appears that the author, Barbara Ann Kipfer's rational is that, "It's important to also be aware of the miracle of food and how it finds its way to your table. And then there's the miracle of the body - the fact that you have a digestive, nutrient-absorbing, and elimination system that processes your food each day." She goes on to finish by saying, "Eat slowly and mindfully, ever aware of the pleasure that comes from your food."

Hmmm...interesting. I guess I see her point starting here. I think finding happiness is probably about focusing on things that bring you pleasure, but, while I enjoy food, it's not really something I sit around and think about. Nor do I enjoy preparing food. So while this tip may help some people to focus and find pleasure and happiness in the most basic things, I'm pretty happy coming home from work most nights and eating a bowl of cereal. That makes me happy. And I enjoy the heck out of that meal. Guess it just goes to show you - different strokes for different folks.

Tomorrow I'll be doing and writing about day one of "The Happy Book" stay tuned and be happy!

Love handles and Cellulite - Happiness on December 7, 2009

For as long as I can remember I have had a love/hate relationship with my body. Not that I think this makes me abnormal by any stretch  of the imagination, I think in this respect I'm a pretty normal female. Within the last year or so, I think, while I won't ever be totally satisfied and will always strive to feel better and be healthier, I have come to accept my body, my weight, and my physique for what it is. I'm not happy, but content with what I have been given and grateful to be healthy. That doesn't mean though,  that I'm going to stop poking fun at my love handle, muffin top, or cellulite. Sorry....contentment doesn't stretch quite that far, plus, it's something I've always done. Some probably view it as attention seeking...ok...so yeah...I DO want you to tell me when those pants make me look fat, while others might see it as signals of a low self esteem, which is completely false as well. In truth, why would I not poke fun at something that everyone else can see? I diffuse tense situations with humor and would rather make the joke at the expense of myself than to allow someone else to make it for me. In other words...I can make fun of me...but you can't.

So you're probably wondering where all the happiness is in this story...and I'm about to get to that point right now. I got a massage today...that in itself is bliss. I love Massage Monday's. They are fantastic. I've been going to the same girl for a few months now, so you could say we've ventured past those few awkward drop your clothes and I'm going to rub on you first sessions to a more comfortable rhetoric. She was massaging my sides today and I made some offhand comment about maybe she could massage away my love handles to which she promptly replied "What love handles?" I thought she was probably being sarcastic since hello...they're kind of hard to miss. But she wasn't. She was being serious, and I loved her for it. So yeah, I do pay her to make me feel good...but I pay her to make my body feel good...not my mind and not my self esteem. She didn't have to say anything, she could have just laughed it off as the joke it was and moved on, but she didn't. And that was my moment of happiness for the day. It also made me stop and think that maybe I don't give myself enough credit. I'm strong. I'm muscular. And, for all intent and purposes, I'm happy. So why not just let all the rolls and wrinkles be and move on to something more important. Something like my next massage!

Happy Monday everyone!

As a side note, tomorrow I'm going to start with tip #1 in the "Field Guide to Happiness for Women" book. I was supposed to start today, but I should have known better. Since Monday is my day off, nothing about my life is scheduled or normal so I'm going to do the Field Guide on Tuesdays in the future! Talk to you tomorrow!

Happiness on December 6, 2009 - Happy Sunday

Chilly but beautiful day here in Tampa! While most people hate Sundays because it means the weekend is almost over and tomorrow ya'll go back to work, I personally have a different attitude towards Sundays. See, for me, Sunday is actually my Saturday and Monday is actually my Sunday. Weird I know. Kind of a pain sometimes too but overall it works. Anyway - After a week of blogging, I think I've decided I'm going to take Sundays off. Lots of happy things today, but I want to stay fresh. So enjoy your night and I'll be back tomorrow!

Happiness on December 5, 2009 - Change and Family

Family time for my family is much like I imagine it is for a lot of other families. Crazy and hectic and smooshed into any free moment we all mutually have.

It's weird to me how a family dynamic changes as you age. I'm not stupid enough to think that everything would magically stay the same as it was when I was 5 or even 15 for that matter. That would be totally unrealistic, but I guess I always assumed that family dinners would still be family dinners, holidays would continue with the same traditions that we started when I was a kid, and that we would always just be one happy little family of four. Boy was I stupid. I mean seriously? Did I think that my younger brother and I were going be single and live at home for ever and ever? Love ya mom and dad but NO WAY. NO NO NO.

I think my biggest issue with growing up is the complete loss of control. I'm big on control - remember...bossy, stubborn, and opinionated? Well I'm pretty sure all these stemmed out of my intense dislike of change. I'm sure someone out there could psychoanalyze that aspect of my personality and come up with something about how my mom didn't hug me enough as a child or some bullshit like that (completely untrue by the way, my mom hugged us all the time...it was obsessive really), but I truthfully think that I don't really like change because there was so much of it in my childhood. Every 18 months to 2 years my family moved and everything changed. The only thing in my life that remained constant was my happy little family of four. So when slowly over the years as my brother and I progress into adulthood, I watch what was what constant suddenly evolve and morph into a family of five, then a family of six, then a blending of families and family holidays and family traditions - well for someone like me who does the same thing, in the same order in the shower every morning - this completely freaks me out.

I think I'm getting better though. And I'm learning to accept what I can't, and ultimately don't, want to change, and to view the time that we all have together as infinitely more precious. See, I think what either sticks a family together or tears them apart is the value each person places on their times together. Yeah, proximity helps - it's a total plus that my all my immediate family live in the same town, so having dinner together or whatever isn't really too much of a hardship, but even so, back to my original statement - we all lead very full lives, so we grab those few moments together whenever we can.

So that brings me...in a very long winded manner...to my happiness for today. Breakfast with my family.

Picture by Nancy Lockridge

As winter progresses, more and more the 6 of us get together Saturday mornings for breakfast at Einsteins. Nothing fancy, just one hour where we're all together. Sure, I'm sure my dad would rather be at the golf course, my mom talking to her cat, or my brother watching ESPN or whatever, but despite what we'd all rather be doing, we're together, our ever evolving and changing family, and I'm happy, because I'm slowly learning that in order to be happy, I need to learn how to evolve and change with it.

Have a happy rest of your day!

Happiness on December 4, 2009 - Rain Rain stay the day

Today in Tampa was totally miserable. Now to put that in perspective, it was probably 60 degrees (yes, northerners I understand that's not "cold") but it rained all. day. long. Ick. But while most people get sort of down in the dumps when it rains I actually like it. Yeah, I admit, I may move a little slower than normal, but rainy nights means one thing:

To pick up a great big stack of these:

And then home, in bed, under the nice warm covers. Oh baby. My happy place. I picked up some great magazines, some mind candy romance novels, and some self help books.

As a suggestion from my friend Mina, I've decided to start reading some books that might lead me towards finding happiness. Now I draw the line at the "Happiness for Dummies" book I saw tonight. I'm not reading about Computer Programing or Dog Training here...how they could even have a "Dummies" book on finding happiness is totally beyond me...but they do. I also skipped over "Finding your Inner Bitch" ask pretty much anyone in my family and they'll tell you I need NO help in that department...hence the Daily Dose of Happiness blog...we're trying to get away from the bitch and find someone who is still assertive, stubborn, and opinionated but just in a calmer, more politically correct way.

So I ended up with "Field Guide to Happiness for Women" by Barbara Ann Kipfer which gives readers 205 different tools to find happiness - things such as #48 Mute Your Mind or #129 Know Your Purpose. I'm going to be trying one of these every Monday and writing about them here.

The second book, "The Happy Book" by Rachel Kempster and Meg Leder is "a journal to celebrate what makes you happy" - at least that's according to the subtitle. This is pretty much a journal where each page has a suggestion for doing something that will make you happy through some sort of writing, drawing, or thinking activity. For example - "Who are your favorite people in the world? List them." or "Reasons why life is pretty dang cool." I'll be doing one of these activities each each Wednesday and posting them here.

Hopefully you found something that made you happy today my friends...even if it was something as simple as it being Friday.

Happiness on December 3, 2009 - My Google Reader

I stumbled upon Google Reader a few weeks ago after someone that I follow in Twitter Tweeted about how far behind they were on theirs. Being the crazy online person that I am - I seriously do not know what people did before the internet - I of course had to go and check it out. Admittedly I was a little skeptical at first, I think mainly because setting it up takes a bit of time in that you have to search and find blogs or sites that you want to "subscribe" to. But once you get past that part, Google Reader is to an information maniac what table crumbs are to Chloe - pure, unadulterated HEAVEN. I mean, just imagine everything you could every be interested on the internet - from business blogs, to fox news, to magazines, to whatever, all consolidated into one place. No longer do I have to bookmark sites that I like - which is great, because bookmarking to me is much like email organization - I create these great folders, but then end up clumping everything into one folder or else putting information on my cable bill in with my electric bill. In other words...I can never find ANYTHING. So my Google Reader is great, everything I could ever want to read about, all in one place. I can skim over stuff, stop and read more in depth, or click to get to the web page so I can surf around it for awhile. Then, once I'm done, I "Mark all as read" and poof, they're gone. Google Reader - an abundant source of happiness for you information junkies out there! I highly recommend it!

Here's just a few pictures from the articles in my Google Reader for today. Talk about ecclectic!

Happiness on December 2, 2009 - My Inspiration Notebook

I am a gigantic packrat. Gigantic. If they had a meeting for packrats anonymous I would be the first one there - Hello, my name is Jennifer and I am a packrat.  I just really like stuff. And I think it also comes from being a history major and wanting to leave something that one day that will offer insight into my life for my children - but really...what exactly are they going to glean from old Capital One bills? That eventually I signed up for paperless statements and that I pay my balance on time? Thrilling.

Much of my packrattedness manifests itself in one of two ways - books or magazines. Books I'm ok with since at one time or another, in the future, I will reread just about everything I have read at least once...sometimes twice or ten times. It's the magazines that are out of control. I keep them either because I honestly haven't had time to read them - for example I finally got around to reading Shape Magazine from April today, or because there is something in the pages that I want to keep and refer back to. Often it's literally a little box with a quote or a green product or whatever. Rarely do I keep them for full articles - so essentially I'm keeping a 50 page magazine for a 2 x 2 square of it. Brilliant.

So today I decided, after looking at the 10 plus magazines piled on my coffee table, counter, and under my checkout counter at the shop that something had to be done. I'd been tossing around the idea of a digital "Inspiration Board" for awhile now as almost like a catch-all for things I find online that I want to keep to read, write, tweet, whatever, about later, but I really hadn't come up with a good way to just keep the items from all these magazines that I wanted and recycle the rest. Today I did...Ta Daaaaaaah:

My inspiration notebook. Makes me happy on so many different levels - less clutter, everything together in one place, plus I get to play with a glue stick which I haven't done since like the 5th grade. What could be better than that!?

Happiness on December 1, 2009 - First official sounds of Christmas

I started hearing Christmas music around Michael's and Old Hyde Park the day after Halloween, but for me, the Christmas season doesn't officially start until:

1. December 1st. Anything before that is Thanksgiving. Let's not skip holidays ok people?
2. I hear that first Christmas song on the radio.

Well today happens to have met both those requirements - it is indeed December 1st. Happy December everyone!! Where did this year go?? It feels like just yesterday was New Years 2009. Weird. And this morning while I was driving to work, I heard my first Christmas song on the radio. It was a Taylor Swift song - maybe White Christmas - truthfully I can't remember, but it made me happy and excited.

 I LOVE Christmas. There is nothing about Christmas that I don't love. I love the atmosphere, the lights, the sounds, the scents, the tastes, the gift giving, and the gift receiving. Hopefully over the next month you all are able to take a moment to pause and just let the beauty of the season wash over you. Don't let your busy, hectic lives stop you from remembering what the Christmas season is all about - love, family, renewal, giving, and of course receiving.  Enjoy!