It's weird to me how a family dynamic changes as you age. I'm not stupid enough to think that everything would magically stay the same as it was when I was 5 or even 15 for that matter. That would be totally unrealistic, but I guess I always assumed that family dinners would still be family dinners, holidays would continue with the same traditions that we started when I was a kid, and that we would always just be one happy little family of four. Boy was I stupid. I mean seriously? Did I think that my younger brother and I were going be single and live at home for ever and ever? Love ya mom and dad but NO WAY. NO NO NO.
I think my biggest issue with growing up is the complete loss of control. I'm big on control - remember...bossy, stubborn, and opinionated? Well I'm pretty sure all these stemmed out of my intense dislike of change. I'm sure someone out there could psychoanalyze that aspect of my personality and come up with something about how my mom didn't hug me enough as a child or some bullshit like that (completely untrue by the way, my mom hugged us all the time...it was obsessive really), but I truthfully think that I don't really like change because there was so much of it in my childhood. Every 18 months to 2 years my family moved and everything changed. The only thing in my life that remained constant was my happy little family of four. So when slowly over the years as my brother and I progress into adulthood, I watch what was what constant suddenly evolve and morph into a family of five, then a family of six, then a blending of families and family holidays and family traditions - well for someone like me who does the same thing, in the same order in the shower every morning - this completely freaks me out.
I think I'm getting better though. And I'm learning to accept what I can't, and ultimately don't, want to change, and to view the time that we all have together as infinitely more precious. See, I think what either sticks a family together or tears them apart is the value each person places on their times together. Yeah, proximity helps - it's a total plus that my all my immediate family live in the same town, so having dinner together or whatever isn't really too much of a hardship, but even so, back to my original statement - we all lead very full lives, so we grab those few moments together whenever we can.
So that brings me...in a very long winded manner...to my happiness for today. Breakfast with my family.
Picture by Nancy Lockridge
As winter progresses, more and more the 6 of us get together Saturday mornings for breakfast at Einsteins. Nothing fancy, just one hour where we're all together. Sure, I'm sure my dad would rather be at the golf course, my mom talking to her cat, or my brother watching ESPN or whatever, but despite what we'd all rather be doing, we're together, our ever evolving and changing family, and I'm happy, because I'm slowly learning that in order to be happy, I need to learn how to evolve and change with it.
Have a happy rest of your day!
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