For as long as I can remember I have had a love/hate relationship with my body. Not that I think this makes me abnormal by any stretch of the imagination, I think in this respect I'm a pretty normal female. Within the last year or so, I think, while I won't ever be totally satisfied and will always strive to feel better and be healthier, I have come to accept my body, my weight, and my physique for what it is. I'm not happy, but content with what I have been given and grateful to be healthy. That doesn't mean though, that I'm going to stop poking fun at my love handle, muffin top, or cellulite. Sorry....contentment doesn't stretch quite that far, plus, it's something I've always done. Some probably view it as attention seeking...ok...so yeah...I DO want you to tell me when those pants make me look fat, while others might see it as signals of a low self esteem, which is completely false as well. In truth, why would I not poke fun at something that everyone else can see? I diffuse tense situations with humor and would rather make the joke at the expense of myself than to allow someone else to make it for me. In other words...I can make fun of me...but you can't.
So you're probably wondering where all the happiness is in this story...and I'm about to get to that point right now. I got a massage today...that in itself is bliss. I love Massage Monday's. They are fantastic. I've been going to the same girl for a few months now, so you could say we've ventured past those few awkward drop your clothes and I'm going to rub on you first sessions to a more comfortable rhetoric. She was massaging my sides today and I made some offhand comment about maybe she could massage away my love handles to which she promptly replied "What love handles?" I thought she was probably being sarcastic since hello...they're kind of hard to miss. But she wasn't. She was being serious, and I loved her for it. So yeah, I do pay her to make me feel good...but I pay her to make my body feel good...not my mind and not my self esteem. She didn't have to say anything, she could have just laughed it off as the joke it was and moved on, but she didn't. And that was my moment of happiness for the day. It also made me stop and think that maybe I don't give myself enough credit. I'm strong. I'm muscular. And, for all intent and purposes, I'm happy. So why not just let all the rolls and wrinkles be and move on to something more important. Something like my next massage!
Happy Monday everyone!
As a side note, tomorrow I'm going to start with tip #1 in the "Field Guide to Happiness for Women" book. I was supposed to start today, but I should have known better. Since Monday is my day off, nothing about my life is scheduled or normal so I'm going to do the Field Guide on Tuesdays in the future! Talk to you tomorrow!
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